April Fool's

In breaking news:
House Democrats have joined with House Republicans to start impeachment proceedings of President Obama.
Iran's president has converted to Judaism.
Gasoline prices are expected to hover just over $1.00 per gallon this summer.
Medical records have confirmed that Nancy Pelosi is really a man.
Barney Frank is really a woman.
Dennis Kuchinich is really an alien(not the illegal kind)
Polls show that if Rush Limbaugh were to run for president he would win in a landslide. Rush echoed his usual response, "I couldn't take the pay cut".
It is predicted that the Washington Nationals will win the World Series this year.
Ricky Martin has come out again saying " I am a fortunate heterosexual man"
A secret memo from the Israeli prime minister reads that the apartments being constructed on Israeli land is really a new Super Walmart Store. This explains Obama indignation fed by union bosses protests.
Al Gore's theory of Global Warming is being proved true as temperatures have begun to rise. It's effects are expected to subside later this year. Possibly by October 2010.
Early test results have shown that trans fats and sugar may be the long sought after cure for cancer, baldness and erectile dysfunction.
Drinking beer builds muscle and burns fat.
In the wake of impeachment proceedings, Joe Biden is stepping down as vice president to open a corner bar in downtown Wilmington. It will be called "Plugs and Mugs". He's also expressed his desire to write(for real this time) the great American novel. The working title is "Live, Love, Gaffe".
And lastly, Congress passed an amendment called the "Big Foot Amendment". It stipulates that if or when the mysterious denizen of the great Northwest territory is found, that he/she would be deemed human and not beast and would therefore be compelled to purchase health insurance or face any and all penalties under the new Obamacare law.