Salivary Projection

I really must be getting old. Things that didn't bother me or that I never gave a second thought now consume me at times. Obviously politics and the culture being one of those things. Or two of those things. Not nearly as dire or contentious, but there is the matter of spitting.

I love baseball and especially the Phillies. Watching game after game since April I have since noticed how much ball players spit. Not that this is a revelation of any sort or something new to the sport itself. Players in other sports spit. After baseball would probably be hockey. Not so much football or almost never in basketball. Like I said, ball players have always been hocking and it never really bothered me. Now I notice it most of the time. One, after the other, after the other. It's a wonder the base path isn't a muddy mess. I realize that guys who chew have to spit but this is any and all comers.

As a young man I used to practice this vile habit. Truth be told, there are still times when I go outside that something rises up in me and I, almost reflexively, spit. I can't tell you why or what for. I just do. Once. Maybe twice and I'm done. But I have noticed that I am more self conscious about it. I sometimes steal a glance to see if my neighbors are watching or wait until I am in some obstructed view. Gross, I know. I can remember guys from when I was younger who would spit repetitively to the point where a small puddle would form. I would think, spitting is okay but this is overkill.

Before I wrap this up, I have one personal loogie story to tell. I was in sixth grade and at a weeknight basketball practice when my friend Bruce and I had to go to the boys restroom. We were joking around when he spit at me and it landed on my leg. Incensed, I retaliated with a hocker of my own. I couldn't have done it again if I tried a million times. I spit and it hit him right in the eye. Eyelid to be exact. It was priceless. Or as Seinfeld said "That was one magic loogie". Of course I ran and he proceeded to chase me outside where I turned my ankle and fell. He caught up to me and proceeded to pummel me a few times and then graciously helped my back into the gymnasium. Forty years later and I remember it like it was yesterday. I wonder if Bruce still remembers?

So as I get older, I find this habit increasingly disgusting, yet still indulge once in awhile myself with some degree of guilt. Even when I go to the dentist I am aware of the act of spitting when told to do so by the hygienist. As for my sports heroes... I will continue to watch the games. I will continue notice the excessive projection of saliva. Is it part of the game? Maybe. Is it a guy thing? I certainly hope so. I guess there are worse things. Like women spitting? A horrid thought.